Beloved wife has passed

[NZ421291]

Just awful- Kia Kaha (Stand Strong) Mate!

[Josep]

really sorry

[Robert_Anderson]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[tigerhonaker]

Originally Posted by Charles

My wife has finally passed. She was a fighter to the very end. Her death was unexpected. While eating a meal that I was feeding her she vomited and aspirated. She couldn't swallow it back and couldn't get it up. When the paramedics arrived she was blue, foaming at the mouth, and not breathing. She did not want to be coded and we had scope of medical care documents. However they suctioned her and got her back. But she refused hospital transfer. She was in renal failure and bed ridden in extremely poor health. It would have meant several weeks of torture in the ICU as opposed to a quick but agonizing death at home. She chose the latter. The paramedics stayed suctioning her until my son David arrived. Then they left. She died with us holding her hands 2 hours later. She was conscious to the very end. Never in a coma. Amazing. She was a brilliant Ophthalmologist and fabulous wife/companion. I believe she is in heaven and at peace. I was her caregiver 7 days a week 24 hours a day for the last 3.5 years. It was my honor and privilege to help her. She was extremely well thought of at VUMC.

Charles

Charles,


Sorry for your loss but due to your wife's condition I can understand her wishes.


I'm glad your Son made it in time to be with you when your wife passed.



Take care,
Terry

[Charles]

Thank you all. I drove to Rachel Garden where she is in the ground and stood there for 5-10 minutes. Somehow it did me some good. I am feeling a little better. I wrote a eulogy and posted it on the Hermitage Funeral Home website:

Eulogy for Debbie
By Dr. Charles S. Ruark Jr., her husband of forty-four years

Many would consider Debbie a genius. Her academic accomplishments were extremely impressive. She was valedictorian of her high school class in Shelbyville, TN, first trumpet in the high school band, and depending on how you consider it, graduated first or second in her medical school class at Vanderbilt University Medical School. I say this because she was first in her class of the students that her class began with, but another student came in later on and beat her.

Most impressive to me was the two A’s in Physical Chemistry she achieved as a VU undergraduate. She did her internship at Vanderbilt and also her residency in Ophthalmology at Vanderbilt University. She won the Albert Weinstein Prize in Medicine as a graduating medical student. As I understand it she was the first female senior Chief Resident in Ophthalmology. She passed her Ophthalmology boards with flying colors scoring tops in the nation. For this reason, for many years, she administered the oral board exam for the American Board of Ophthalmology in Refraction and External Disease to the senior residents seeking board certification in Ophthalmology.

She thrived in the private practice of Ophthalmology from about 1978 to 1995. To say that she had a positive effect on her patients would be a gross understatement. I still encounter many of her former patients who at mention of her name respond with many positive comments relating to her competency and her sincere concern not only about the health of their eyes but of their persons. She truly was the complete physician. The reason that she left medical practice so early was the mounting medical problems which I will not go into.

Debbie became a mother by the miracle of adoption on June 3rd, 1990. Our son’s name is David. She threw herself into her new role of mother with the enthusiasm that she had for medicine. As a family of three we had many good years together until her health began to fail in the summer of 2016 following the death of her mother Frances Allen Stewart. But the severe medical problems did not begin until January 2017. Then she had one blow after another until she could go on no longer. She died in her own bed in her beloved home of forty years with her husband (me) on one side and her son David on the other. Both of us holding her hands. Until the end she was able to speak that she loved us. She died fully conscious in about two seconds.

I have close friends. One of them emailed me the verse of Psalms 116:5, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones.” I have taken great comfort in this verse. Debbie attended Shelbyville First Baptist Church all her life in Shelbyville and was a devout Christian. She was instrumental to my Christian faith and also to David’s. Her sincere faith touched the lives of many people but the two it touched the most was mine and David’s.

She was a fabulous wife and companion. We always considered each other to be a team. We made a firm pact to meet each other at the eastern gate in the new Jerusalem and to continue our relationship (though not in marriage) there. Both of us love to walk. After we complete whatever business there is to finish and with the Lord’s permission, we plan on walking together on the new Earth for ten thousand years. I look forward to beginning that walk with her. As sure as the tomb was empty, it will happen.

[jameslrock]

As a redemptive, believer, receiver I understand.

[FreddieFerric]

My deepest condolences Charles. Your description is heartbreaking. I hope you can find solace in knowing she is in a better place and at peace now.